February 1, 2010

The Rub

In August 2008 Marc Hogan was bet £1 that he couldn’t become a stand up comic in less than 12 months and perform a one man comedy show at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival in August 2009 for 21 nights. He won the bet!

I’m typing this in complete agony (I’m allowed to say agony because I’m a man, and therefore not blessed with a high pain threshold).

I’ve hurt my back, my lower back to be specific. How did I do it? Well in a very manly way I was picking up a pair of socks.  They weren’t even a pair of thick heavy socks, Oh no just a normal pair of thin light socks. My wife found me curled foetal-like on the floor whimpering that I’m never going to try and clean the house again, my body clearly isn’t up to the job.

So now I’m smothered in Deep Heat, and reek of eucalyptus, I’ve had to cancel a trip to the zoo in case I’m attacked by a crazed ravenous Koala.

I’m 35 and this is the second time I’ve hurt my back in 2010. How can I have hurt my back twice in one month?  According to scientists we will now easily live to 90. Oh my God is this how I’m going to spend the next 55 years swallowing large amounts of ibuprofen and smelling like the Australian outback?

There’s nothing for it; I’m going to have to go back to the gym. I mean I pay £50 a month for it and I only went once in 2009.  The thing is I hate the gym, it’s not the exercise it’s the people.

I show up in my old trainers and “tracky” bottoms, and its like I’ve entered a fashion show.

Lots of young people artfully perspiring in their designer “wick away” t-shirts while I grunt, groan and sweat and generally feel wretched.

Oddly enough when I retuned to the gym, I saw my two favourite people. They are an old Chinese couple. They must be in their 80s. They slowly shuffle their way between each machine in Zen-like silence, picking the lightest weight and over 15 excruciating minutes manage to push out 10 reps.

They are amazing, and apparently they’re at the gym every day.  I know we may all be able to live to 90 but I’m not sure I want to get that old; as one of them walks by I’m sure I can smell eucalyptus…

Click here to watch Marc’s showreel. If you would like to find out more about Marc, visit www.marchoganlive.com or to book him for a speaking event please contact your favourite speaker bureau.

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