April 14, 2010

The Merry Wives of Westminster

In August 2008 Marc Hogan was bet £1 that he couldn’t become a stand up comic in less than 12 months and perform a one man comedy show at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival in August 2009 for 21 nights. He won the bet!

In the UK, election fever is now at Swine Flu levels. Finally all the 24 hour news channels have got something interesting to talk about rather than the millions of people dying in Africa everyday or the terrible suffering in Haiti, because let’s face it, that’s a bit depressing and the sun’s out!

Of course the election is important but what fascinates me is how it’s being carried out.

If I see another picture of Samantha Cameron or Sarah Brown I’ll go insane. I don’t care how nice their wives are, I’m not going to vote for a Prime Minister based on how pretty or supportive his wife is!

Besides in the hotness race Nick Clegg’s wife, Miriam clearly wins. She’s hot and Spanish (the Lib Dems never were Euro-sceptics).

My wife is clever, and hot, which is why she married me – opposites attract!  Which also explains why these 3 nice women all married politicians.

I also love the fact that Miriam isn’t on the campaign trail. The only person we ever see with Nick Clegg is Vince Cable, like a proud Dad at a school presentation.

I love Vince, he reminds me of my granddad (without the whisky breath), and he talks a lot of sense.

Besides if we take this wife thing to the obvious conclusion there is only one way to go. It’s only a matter of time before we have the political sex tape.

Cameron of course practices safe sex – he uses a non-dom especially made in Belize. Brown always removes the false eye when in full on seductive mode, and Clegg, well he spends 20 minutes beforehand deciding on what position to take.

I’m not sure who I’m going to vote for but a little bit of me wishes that Peter Mandleson was Prime Minister. He’s Labour but more conservative than Margaret Thatcher, plus he’s not bloomin’ married!

Not only that, but everyone is scared of him (even granite Gordon). If Mandleson were leader we wouldn’t need Trident, they’d all be scared that he’d turn into his vampire bat form and wipe them all out with his imperious gaze.

I know you wouldn’t choose an employee because of their partner, or choose a girlfriend or boyfriend because you liked their dad so, if you are going to vote, please vote for someone because of their policies, their character, or even their Cabinet but not because their wife is nice!

Click here to watch Marc’s showreel. If you would like to find out more about Marc, visit www.marchoganlive.com or to book him for a speaking event please contact your favourite speaker bureau.

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