September 18, 2014

Scotland The Brave / Wur All Doomed

Marc Hogan was bet £1 that he couldn’t become a stand up comic in less than 12 months and perform a one man comedy show at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival for 21 nights. He won the bet!

So in less than 24 hours Scotland may have overthrown the tyrannical yoke of English rule, or they’ll decide that the sassonachs are not too bad and we’ll give them more money.

Of course if they do vote for independence they’ll have no nuclear deterrent or army, so the English could invade straight away, whilst the Scots vainly hurl scotch eggs and cans of Irn-Bru at them. Or perhaps an Independent Scotland could charge an entrance fee from England like the Welsh do?

Funnily enough though at a conference last week I met a contingent of English people who would quite happily move to Scotland if they do vote for independence so they would never have to listen to David Cameron ever again!

But when I was in Edinburgh recently it really does feel that opinion was divided. Of course in my mind Edinburgh seems to be the most anglicised of all Scottish cities.

It also feels really posh, how can you tell if a Scottish man is posh, well instead of having a forename and a surname like normal people they just have two surnames e.g. Cameron McTavish, Campbell Burns, Keir Mccloud, whilst most Scottish people have ordinary dull names like Alex Salmond or Danny Alexander …

I do feel for the Scots, the better together campaign hasn’t really campaigned with joy or hope, it says how badly off the Scots will be if they leave the Union, which in case anyone hadn’t noticed is the same argument the European Union is saying about Britain if they leave the EU.

On the other hand the yes campaign seems to be relatively joyful and full of hope and promise. The question is, is it true?

Of course, having listened to all the arguments I’m still no wiser to whether Scotland is better in or out of the Union, and I would have no idea which box I would tick on that ballot paper.

However on the radio today someone did say if Scotland did leave, the resulting financial crisis would mean UK interest rate would remain low for about a decade, so that would be really good for my new mortgage.

But in a world where Ukrainians and Russian Ukrainian’s are openly killing each other and where Sunni and Shiite Muslims are at war in Iraq, it makes me very proud to live in the United Kingdom.

No matter what the outcome tomorrow I hope both sides of the campaign can shake hands and work out what’s best for everybody, you never know the oil may run out tomorrow…

Click here to watch Marc’s showreel. If you would like to find out more about Marc, visit or to book him for a speaking event please contact your favourite speaker bureau.


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